Chaos Factor 9
by Gail Moonshayde
Summary: Lina and Gourry on a crazy adventure to the castle of an evil nameless count. There they encounter ...red clad jingling midgets, black leather and pink tutus? Warning: If small children and their shows scare you stay far away from this work.
1. Fruitcake

(Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers. Someone much richer than I does.)  
  
Chaos Factor 9  
  
Part One: Fruitcake...  
  
Authors Notes: Hmm... This has absolutely nothing to do with my other   
fic. Just a bit on the silly side. A bit of a history lesson. A bit   
of fruitcake with nuts and 100% proof Norwegian Brandy. It'll get much, much, much,   
much sillier next episode. I promise.  
  
  
~~~~~~  
This particular story begins with several deities who existed   
before time itself and have powers beyond comprehension of your puny   
mortal minds. They live in a dimension whose physics are beyond   
comprehension of your puny mortal minds and think thoughts that are   
beyond the comprehension of your puny mortal minds. (Boy, us mortals   
are screwed, ne?)  
Back in that 'time' (time being a subjective term) they were   
still young and fresh from the vats of comic primordial soup. Each   
forming thoughts and concepts that revolutionized the non-world,   
forming themselves to a concept they held dear.  
One dear little goddess liked to see what she was doing so she   
scattered many, many globes of burning gas across the non-space to   
light everything. She became the concept of Light. Another decided he   
didn't like that so he cursed all her beautiful balls of burning flame   
so that would all eventually turn inside out and suck in all the light   
and anything else that unfortunately happened to be nearby. He became   
the concept of Darkness.   
Those were just examples. Each concept was new and different and   
they like it that way. Each 'concept' learned for the other and after   
learning much, but keeping there own self made concept at the top of   
the list, they scattered and formed non-spaces of there own to play   
with.   
One particular of this deity is near and dear to us in a slightly   
abstract way. She was formed when the chaotic elements of the   
'universe' (universe being a subjective term too) collided and melted   
together in an unorganized heap. (All of this is very much understated   
and loosely defined.) Chaotic and unpredictable as, well, herself.  
In Her own little non-space She got bored and played around with   
the notion of 'world', a joining of many concepts. She took the   
notions and concepts she had learned but in a BIG dose of herself and   
formed a giant golden lake whose dimensions are incomprehensible to the   
feeble mortal mind and a giant pillar that rose out of it whose   
dimensions are only slightly less incomprehensible to the feeble human   
mind.  
On this pillar she formed four planes of unpredictability, each   
forming to her will. After that she created four lords of darkness,   
death, destruction, and hatred, and four lords of light, life,   
protection, and love. She put on of each on different planes and let   
them duke it out.   
This amused the Lord of Nightmares greatly for an unreal amount   
of time. But, since she created the lord with equal powers they came   
to a stalemate in their fight. On one particular world the dark lord   
Shabranigdu was split into seven pieces and his counterpart Ceipheed   
split into four similar versions of himself and sank into his creators   
world, the Sea of Chaos.  
Well after that the two lords' world flourished and intelligent   
beings such as humans and elves came into being. Dragons and Mazoku,   
children of Shabranigdu and Ceipheed started appearing. Humans grew   
and changed; eventually developing crude magical abilities then refined   
them. Elves, already quite proficient in magic, disappeared somewhere   
and the humans developed more. Humanity was going just peachy then   
some royal bastard, Rei Magnus, resurrected a piece of Shabranigdu and   
sent the whole world into war. Dragons, Mazoku, Humans, and Elves were   
all engaged in the epic battle. One fourth of Ceipheed, the Water   
Dragon Lord, and one seventh of Shabranigdu and all the Mazoku lords   
were up at the peak of the fighting. The Water Dragon Lord was   
defeated and the piece of Shabranigdu, unable to move, holed up in the   
Kataart Mountains. The war ended, but the human race, however, was cut   
down by about two-thirds, give or take a few.  
One thousand years later another piece of Shabranigdu was   
resurrected by Rezo the Red Priest, noted good guy and great mage.   
Shabby-kun was also brought down in the same day by the enemy of all   
who live, Lina Inverse.  
I suppose all that was a very round about way of saying that is   
who I am talking about. Lina Inverse, that it. At the very least you   
got an history lesson.  
Lina Inverse, at this precise moment is enjoying the view of the   
town from her inn room window, relaxing after a strenuous day of bandit   
stomping.  
Her partner in crime, the noted swordsman and nice guy (though he   
is a bit dense) Gourry Gabriev was currently walking up the stairs to   
knock on Lina's door and interrupt her.  
Knock, knock, knock.  
"What?" Lina snapped, irritated to have her daydream   
interrupted.  
"It's me, Lina."   
"Come in, Gourry." Lina answered, hopping off the window seat.  
Gourry strode in smiling. "So Lina, what are we going to do   
tomorrow. According to that strange guy at the bar there's some   
strange count that lives up at the top of Black Death Mountain. A   
bunch of bandits live there and steal from people a couple of towns   
over. We could go get him."  
"Hmm..." Lina hmmed. "Yes, I heard about that one. Seems to be   
the only other one in the area. I got some information on it   
yesterday; sounds promising."  
"Yeah, I got directions." Gourry offered. "It's just a couple   
hours hike through Home of Evil Man Eating Creatures forest and then   
just a bit up the path of Jagged Sharp Things. Then we're there."   
Lina swallowed. "Well, after reviewing the facts. I think we   
ought to skip that guy."  
"Oh don't worry, the names are only for show. The man I talked   
to said the forest was actually quite pleasant." Gourry assured.  
"Who were you talking to?" Lina asked looking out the window   
trying to find a restaurant to eat dinner at.  
"I don't know, he never let his hood down, but he seemed like a   
nice guy."  
"Seemed like a nice guy, huh." Lina said skeptically. "Well,   
I'll think about it over dinner. Let's go try that steak house over on   
second street. It smells good."  
With that they strode out the door to go onward to a nice steak   
supper... maybe. *evil mocking laughter*  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
Gail: Hmm. Shall I go on? Would you like to see what horrors await   
Lina and Gourry at the steak house and beyond? Do you want to know if   
there steak is rare or well done? Tune in next time for the next   
episode! *cheesy music* Do tell me what you think. Pretty please. 


	2. with nuts

Chaos Factor 9  
  
(Disclaimer: I'll say it again. I do not own Slayers, but, I do own   
some things in this fruitless literary piece.)  
  
Part Two: ...with nuts...  
  
~~~~~~  
Lina lead them both through the intertwining streets of   
Patheticville, a town in the eastern part of Sailoon, near the borders   
of Elmekia. The town did live up to it's name. Quite well actually.  
The people of Patheticville were not talked about kindly by the   
neighboring towns. They're crops were wilted and half-dead, they were   
easy prey for bandits and other folks of ill intent. They had little   
business and/or trade. And unfortunately, as Lina and Gourry were soon   
to find out, the restaurants were not the best in the business.  
Lina and Gourry entered Lou's Steak and Grill expecting a   
wonderful dinner, a wonderful dessert, and wonderful service. What   
they got, however, was quite the opposite.  
"Not many people here." Gourry commented marching after Lina.   
Lina lead them to a small table in the corner and snatched up the   
waiting menu.   
"Let's see, the house special today is... Steak on Flambé with   
soup on flambé and cheese on flambé." Lina puzzled over this. "Do a   
bunch of pyromaniacs work here?"  
"Lina what's a pyromaniac? I remember someone calling you that."   
Gourry asked while surveying the menu.  
"Hey! I am not! Who told you that?!" Lina demanded   
indignantly. "I'll have you know that I am a very responsible person!"  
Gourry smartly did not comment on that. "What are you going to   
have? There isn't much of a selection."  
"Hmm..." Lina hmmed, "I think I'll have a few of the steak and   
salad dinners. Then four slices of chocolate cheesecake.  
A few minutes later the waitress came to take their orders and   
was overwhelmed. She wasn't used to people ordering that much of the   
noxious food the restaurant served. Must be from out of town.  
While they were waiting for their food, the adventurers got down   
to business.  
"Now, according to this map we follow this trail north then we   
turn east and head to the forest, once we enter the forest we take the   
trail marked on the map and upward to that counts palace, then we try   
to find a back entrance to sneak into. If that doesn't work I'll just   
fireball the front door and you'll attack any faceless minions that   
come searching for our blood. We will then capture and detain the   
count and loot his treasure stores. Got that?"  
"Um..." Gourry umed then pointed to the map. "Which way do we   
turn after we get here?"  
Lina growled then snatched the map up. "Never mind, just follow   
me."  
There was a lengthy pause. "What are we doing again." Gourry   
said, breaking the silence.  
Lina sighed exasperated. "We're going to go take down that count   
that lives up on the mountain. It was your idea, remember jellyfish-  
brain."  
"Well, yeah, I remember that, but what are we doing here." He   
asked again.  
"Eating. Or at least we're supposed to be eating." Lina fumed   
then banged on the table. "Hey, hurry up! You've got hungry customers   
in here!" She yelled toward the kitchens. No response. "Come on now!   
If you don't hurry it up, I'll take my business elsewhere!"  
"Wow, these people are slow. I hope the food is good."  
"It better be." Lina muttered threateningly.  
A few minutes later the small waitress came out struggling under   
the wait of the trays she was carrying. She deposited the steaming   
plates of aromatic steaks. Lina started to drool appreciatively as she   
eyed her dinner.  
The waitress scuttled off whilst her customers eyed there steaks   
like lions on the hunt. Lina and Gourry whipped out there knives and   
forks and speared the meat. The both cut huge bites and shoved the   
hunks of meet into there starving mouths at the same time. They also   
turned exactly the same shade of green in the same 2 seconds. Lina   
fought to swallow her's down.   
"Gah! Disgusting!" She yelled disgusted.  
Gourry nodded as he struggled to chew his rubbery steak. He   
finally got done with his errand and chugged his glass of water to wash   
it down.  
"Lina... I don't think steak is supposed to taste like that."  
"I know steak is not supposed to taste like that. Oy! Waiter!"   
The frightened girl scuttled up from where she was hiding.  
'yes ma'am?' She asked quietly.  
"What is this?"  
'it's the steak and salad special, ma'am.'  
"It doesn't taste like a steak." Gourry offered helpfully. "Are   
you sure it's a steak?"  
'um... mr. wimbly said that the cow was a little sick looking but   
it was still alive and that was a good sign so...' She swallowed.   
'are you not satisfied with your meal?' Swallow. 'um, if you aren't   
satisfied you don't have to pay for...'  
"That's it, come on Gourry. They can keep their noxious food."   
Lina said angrily dragging Gourry out of the door.  
"Bye!" Gourry said cheerfully to the frightened looking waitress   
as they left.  
  
~~~~~  
An hour or so later they were back in the inn. They ate take-out   
fish and chips dinner and parted to relax. Lina was drowning away her   
woes in a large not quite warm enough (but she fixed that) bubble bath.   
Gourry was down stairs at the tavern talking to the locals and   
travelers. For being such a bad town, the inn sure was easy.  
"Oh that's easily explained," a fellow bar goer explained after   
Gourry brought up the question. "The paths and the road signs are so   
pathetic you get lost easily and find yourself here. After that you   
stay the night and wake up to search your way back out again.   
Pathetic, I tell you."  
A slightly more drunk bar goer on Gourry's other side cut in.   
"Not ta mention, the nutter that livesh up on the mountain up there.   
Doesh crazy 'sparements up there and generally dishliked on a whole.   
Woudn't fancy meetin' that bloke on a dark night. No siree..."   
"Oh we're going up there tomorrow to get him." Gourry commented.  
Both of the men next to him broke out in laughter.  
"No, really me and Lina are..."  
"Lina, Lina who?"  
"I saw 'er. A saucy little thing ya got there. The little   
bouncy red head?"  
"Uh, yeah, that's Lina."  
"A bit on the short side, not much a figure. What's a guy like   
you see in her?" Bar goer number one asked.  
"Yeah, a really woman'sh got ta have big--"  
"Me an Lina just quest and stuff." Gourry cut in protesting.   
"Nothing else."  
"Ah, so she's chasein' after you. I'd get rid of a shrimp like   
that, go fer bigger fish." Number 1 commented.  
"'less he's got some thing fer little un's." Number 2 grinned   
leeringly. "Lil girlsh might suit you be'er."  
Gourry frowned. "Just what are you trying to say? Lina's not   
that young."  
The two men just chuckled. Gourry sighed and got up to leave.  
"One more thing, man. I wouldn't go near that psychos home. No   
tellin' what a person like that is capable of." The man cackled.   
"Though you might be able to get rid of the little girl that way."   
Cackling. Gourry had had enough and went upstairs to his room.   
He knocked on Lina's door on the way up. No one answered. She   
must still be asleep, Gourry thought.  
He went to his room and instantly drifted off to an untroubled   
dreamland.  
Sweet dreams, Gourry-kun. *evil mocking laughter*  
  
~~~~~~~~  
Gail: Do you wish to know what happens next? Will Gourry ever wake up   
from his peaceful slumber? Was Lina asleep, or...dead? Will those   
annoying bar members get run over by a wild horse drawn carriage? Tune   
in next time to the answers to a couple of these questions and a few   
more. Maybe. 


	3. 100 proof

(Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Slayers.)  
  
Chaos Factor 9  
  
Part 3: ...and 100% proof Norwegian Brandy...  
  
~~~~~  
Lina woke up stiff and uncomfortable the next morning. The   
mattress was lumpy and hard and the inn room was cold. What a pathetic   
place (ah, but I suppose you were expecting that).  
It was overcast and gray outside. Hopefully it would clear up   
before she and Gourry climbed up Black Death Mountain.   
There better be something worth while up there, Lina thought   
grumpily. If not, at least I'll have the excuse to blow into tiny sub-  
atomic particles.   
Soon Gourry was up and ready and they went down to breakfast.   
Lina didn't bother to order anything fancy, just flapjacks and coffee   
(which were chewy and bland) then they left to trash, ah, hunt there   
quarry.  
They traveled down a well used path and ignored all the road   
signs. Or at least Lina did, Gourry stopped to read all of them. Soon   
they entered the Home of Evil Man Eating Creatures, but nothing   
interesting happened there. Except for the colony of blue and yellow   
polka-dotted chipmunks that attacked, or the giant acid purple flowers   
that tried to eat them, or when those strange 7 legged monkeys tried to   
force Lina to marry their leader. There was also the strange short man   
wearing red and running into trees they saw farther up the path (he   
also jingled, but they couldn't figure that out either).  
Eventually they left the forest (Gourry was kinda sad, he thought   
the forest was pretty, Lina on the other hand...) and started up the   
path of Jagged Sharp Things, which actually wasn't full of sharp   
things, they were all kinda blunted because of time and foul weather.   
Around noon (Lina was hungry) the reached the castle strong hold. And   
man, was it impressive.  
~~~~~  
"Man that's impressive." Lina commented, leaning back to look   
up. "Look at all those gargoyles. This guy takes the evil psycho-  
maniac lonely-teetering-castle-up-on-a-jagged-mountain thing way too   
far."  
"It's all black. And where is that creepy music and lightning   
coming from?" Gourry commented taking in the gothic stonework.  
"Well, I don't know about the creepy music, but that storm is   
coming right towards us. Man, what luck. Now we're gonna be stuck in   
here during a thunderstorm. Talk about cliché."  
"What's cliché mean, Lina?"  
Disgusted look. "I don't have time to explain now, jellyfish   
brain. Let's bust this joint and rob the guy blind."  
"Okay, Lina. Let's do it!"  
~~~~~  
The door creaked open noisily and the light from outside fell on   
a dusty and disused room.  
"Ain't much of a house keeper, is he." Lina commented, stepping   
inside. Lina cast lighting and walked cautiously around the room. The   
inch thick dust layer muffled all noises and gave Lina and Gourry the   
stealthy approach. Behind the dust, Lina could tell it was lavishly   
decorated. After dusting off patches of tapestries she found that some   
had gold threading and the huge crystal chandelier was probably adorned   
with jewels.  
"That creepy music is getting louder." Gourry suddenly commented   
from behind Lina. Lina jumped a foot in the air in fright and   
unfortunately knocked over the suit of armor that was beside her. It   
fell with a silence shattering crash and that started a chain reaction,   
for all the other 15 suits of armor in that row fell over too.  
Almost immediately after that all the doors and windows magically   
slammed shut and locked. Then all was silent.  
"Gourry!!! Look what you made me do! This is all your fault!"   
Lina wailed.  
"Lina... He-hey! I didn't know you'd get all scared like a   
little kid and knock things over." Gourry tried to explain.  
"Hey! I do not look like a little kid, and I am not scared!"   
Lina retorted angrily.  
Loud mocking laughter echoed though the evil castle. Lina   
shrieked and jumped in Gourry's arms.   
The laughter faded away and a shadowed figure stepped up in the   
balcony above them. Lina, embarrassed, jumped out of Gourry's arms and   
smacked him.  
"Just who the hell are you!" She demanded, crossing her arms.   
Gourry frowned and rubbed his cheek, then drew his sword.  
The laughter echoed again, but less impressive or deep. "I'm so   
glad you asked that, Lina Inverse." A high-pitched, chipmunky voice   
answered. "For I am," the figure finished and stepped out into Lina's   
spell light with flourish. "Kopii Chibi Rezo!" The little figure in   
red proclaimed. Lina fell over and couldn't bring herself to get back   
up.  
"Rezo?" Gourry said confused. He scratched his chin, "I thought   
you were taller." Lina groaned.  
Kopii Chibi Rezo, complete with the flowing red robes and chibi   
jingling staff, laughed. "Size makes no difference. I am greater than   
any of my failure counterparts." High pitched laughter. "I shall be   
the one to destroy Lina Inverse! VWEE HE HE HE HEEEEEEEEE!"  
Lina jumped up. "Listen shorty, I made short work of all your   
other nutty counterparts, what the hell makes you think you are a match   
for me?"  
Chuckling. "I prepared for this! I lured you here by capturing   
your rocky friend and now that you have fell for my--"  
"Hold up! Rocky friend? Lured me here? What are you talking   
about, it's dumb luck we ended up here!"  
"Ho, really? Then I don't suppose you want ithisi back!"  
Kopii Chibi Rezo snapped his fingers and the doors behind him   
crashed open to reveal a lighted parlor. Inside the parlor were many   
paintings of KCR and a cage. In the cage was...  
"Zelgadis?!!" Lina yelled unbelievingly. "What the hell are you   
doing here?" Pause. "What are you wearing?"  
Our dear Chimera friend just frowned nastily. He was indeed   
stuck in a cage wearing what resembled a leopard print Zoot Suit.  
"Why hello Lina. Nice of you to drop by." He said nonchalantly.   
"Now that you're here, however, please kill him. Don't make me say   
please again."  
"Hi Zelgadis. What are you doing here?" Gourry piped up. "Are   
you here to defeat the evil bandits too?"  
Kopii Chibi Rezo laughed. "There are no bandits. I just made   
that rumor up to bring you here."  
"I thought you said you captured Zel to lure us here." Lina said   
frowning, hands on hips.  
KCR sneered. "Hmph, wouldn't you like to know."  
Lina sighed exasperated. "Man he just screams 'bad-guy wanna be',"   
Lina commented to Gourry.  
"What a strange little guy, is he the count?"   
"I don't think there is a count, Gourry. He just made it up."   
Lina answered crossing her arms.  
"Oh. Well if there are no bandits, can we just take Zelgadis and   
leave? His voice is even more high-pitched and annoying than yours."   
Gourry commented.  
*Bonk* "Hey!" Lina retorted.  
"Hey!" KCR squealed. "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I   
can't hear you! You're talking about me! How rude." His staff   
started to glow green. "Now you're all gonna have to play my game to   
get out, but not you Lina, I have to kill you."  
"Oh come on," she growled, rolling her eyes. "Do something   
original."   
KCR tapped his staff on the ground and the green light surrounded   
Lina and Gourry before they could react. When the light subsided   
Gourry was wearing a purple leotard and tights, a frilly pink tutu and   
had ribbons all in his hair. He still had his sword of light.  
"AHH! No! Why am I dressed like this?!" He commented.  
Lina was dressed all in black leather. Tight black leather   
pants, silver studded black leather boots, black leather gloves, a   
black tank top, and a black leather vest topped off with a Harley   
Davidson hat. Like I said, lots of black leather and studs.  
"Wh-what the hell?!" She exclaimed angrily. "Why the hell am I   
dressed like this?"   
Zelgadis was standing beside them dressed in his leopard print   
Zoot Suit looking pissed but calm (this is Zel, people). "I'm going to   
kill you, you annoying little worm."  
Lina whirled on a smiling Kopii Chibi Rezo. "Get this hideous   
frock off of me right now!" She demanded.  
"Really, Miss Inverse, what kind of man do you take me for.   
You're way to flat-chested for me."  
Lina turned tomato red. "P-PERVERT!" She screamed launching a   
fireball at KCR. He just laughed at her as his magic shield absorbed   
the fireball.  
"Really, I thought you, Miss Inverse, would be able to sense such   
and obvious shield." He smirked. "Now, time to go play. Do have fun   
all of you!" With that he tapped his staff twice and the floor opened   
under our surprised adventurers and they plummeted downward.  
Kopii Chibi Rezo stood up on his balcony and laughed.  
  
~~~~~  
Gail: Shall I go on? Do you want to know what horrors will befall our   
adventuring pals? What awaits them at the bottom of that black pit?   
Tune in next time for the conclusion (maybe). *evil mocking laughter* 


	4. on flambe

(Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Slayers.)  
  
Chaos Factor 9  
  
Part 4: ...on flambé...  
  
~~~~~  
Lina snapped a Raywing spell around herself as they fell and   
zoomed down to grab Gourry by the arm; Zelgadis floated down slowly   
beside her as Gourry clutched around her waist for dear life.  
"What the?!" She demanded of Zelgadis politely.  
"I truly don't know. I was fed the line that he worked with form   
magic, I thought maybe I could find a cure. Then when I got here, I   
was locked, stocked, and tagged to be part of his evil plan which I   
soon learned involved you, Lina." He answered grumpily. "He talks too   
much, and I want to rip his annoying little face off."  
"So, he really is another nutty Kopii? Geez, just when I thought   
they'd all go away."  
Gourry made a panicked sound and squeezed Lina tighter.   
"Stop wiggling or I'll drop you Gourry." Lina threatened.  
Gourry stopped wiggling, but he was no less panicked. "I   
wouldn't be having such a hard time, Lina, but you don't have anything   
to hold onto!"  
"I ought to drop you just for saying that. It's bad enough I'm   
dressed like this!" She growled.  
"Shiny black leather doesn't have any traction to speak of."   
Zelgadis commented from the side.  
"You keep out of this!" Lina asked/demanded pushing Gourry's   
huge pink tutu out of her line of sight.  
The trio kept floating downward as opposed to up, because the   
trap doors had shut and magically sealed up. They slowly continued for   
a bit more then touched down in a circular room. A ceiling appeared   
overhead, blocking their view of the big hole. Not that there was much   
to see except darkness which is hard to see in.  
The circle room had doors all the way around it in the walls.   
Lina and Zelgadis walked around examining the doors and Gourry sat on   
the floor getting used to having legs, then worrying about the pink   
satin toe shoes he had on. He was looking down curiously at his feet   
when he first saw it. It kinda looked like it, yeah, he was pretty   
sure that's what it was.  
"Hey Lina, there's a picture of you being eaten by a dragon and   
some writing on the floor." Gourry piped up.  
Blink, blink. "What?" Lina asked walking over, her leather   
ensemble squeaking slightly.  
Zelgadis joined her as she bent over the drawing/note. "'Dear   
friends, I have made this room especially to play with my visitors.   
Soon you will encounter some of the most terrifying beasts ever. If   
you survive I will meet you at the end. Happy trails to you.'"  
"Great..." Lina growled. "Ya' know, I can't wait to meet that   
little freak again. I'm gonna Dragon Slave his ass into orbit."  
"Only if you get to him first." Zel commented. "Now, back to   
business; it seems that the only way we are going to get out of here is   
if we pick a door and go through it."  
"I was afraid of that... gah, what else could go wrong." Lina   
grumped.  
"Its best not to temp the fates, Lina." Zel commented from where   
he was examining one of the 8 doors.  
Zel and Lina started examining the doors silently. Gourry sat on   
the floor thoroughly bored. Every once in a while someone would say   
something but it was nothing of interest to him.  
"Well. None of the doors feel strange in any way. I can't tell   
that there is anything behind any of them." Lina hmphed.  
"Why don't we go through that door?" Gourry asked pointing to   
the only blue door. (Since after all, blue is his favorite color.)  
"It's as good a choice as any." Zelgadis commented plucking at   
the sleeve of his zoot suit.  
"Agh, fine, why not. Gourry get your sword ready and open the   
door." Lina said gesturing to the door.  
"Why me? I don't want to open the door! A monster could reach   
out and try to kill me!" Gourry whined as he unsheathed his sword.   
"Why don't you do it Lina, you're an all-powerful sorceress after all!"  
"I'm much to beautiful to be eaten. Now open the door Gourry!"   
She growled, flames leaping in her eyes. Zelgadis would have said   
something at his point, but he really didn't want to open the door   
either.  
Gourry cowered back and reached for the handle of the door. He   
stood ready, sword drawn. All the oh-look-at-me-I'm-a-brave-warrior   
stuff was quite ruined by the girly outfit he was wearing. Lina stood   
behind him, a fireball ready to cast. All of a sudden Gourry threw   
open the door and raised his sword as... absolutely nothing jumped out   
to devour them.  
"Okay, go in and look around Gourry." Lina commanded, peeking in   
the door.  
Gourry gave her a strange look. "No way! I opened the door, you   
can go in and look.  
"Gourry, you wouldn't make a poor helpless little girl go in a   
scary, dark room like that? Would you?" She said batting her   
eyelashes and pouting cutely.  
"Helpless?" Gourry and Zelgadis commented at the same time.  
"How can you say that kind of stuff with a strait face, Lina?"   
Gourry said.  
"Just get in the room Gourry!" She said angily.  
"No!"  
"Okay, Zel, you go in the room."  
"No." Zelgadis said frowning.  
"Well, someone has to go." Lina said stomping her foot.  
"That's right Lina." Gourry commented.  
Suddenly Lina felt Gourry's hand on the small of her back then   
she was propelled into the dark room.  
"G-Gourry!" She sputtered angrily as she slid down a wet and   
slippery incline and landed on her butt. "Gourry! Zelgadis! Answer   
me!"  
There was chuckling above her. "Oi, can it and get down here."  
Lina stood up and cast a light spell as her companions slid down   
beside her. Gourry got down first and Lina pounded him for good   
measure. He looked for shelter from Zelgadis who refused to give it so   
Gourry went and stoop beside Lina , confident she wouldn't pound him   
again. When they stood beside her the door slammed behind them. The   
incline and door disappeared to show an annoyingly pink wall. The rest   
of the room slowly faded into view, and boy, was it bright.  
"Ugh...I think I'm gonna be sick. It's waaaaay to happy in   
here." Lina noted the almost gelatinous aura of sickening sweetness   
and happiness. "Yuck, and it's all pink. It's bad enough that it   
matches Gourry's tutu.  
Gourry looked disgusted at that comment.  
After examining the ...room our adventures concluded:  
"It's a kids' room." Gourry said with rare insight.  
"What kind of child would even want to get caught in this   
sickening chamber." Zel said frowning. Lina shrugged. The room was   
filled with neon furniture, mainly extremely short chairs and carpeted   
platforms.  
Abruptly cheers broke out all around and inside the room. The   
surprised adventurers drew/cast their swords/spells.  
Little children came streaming into the room from all sides,   
completely ignoring the trio and seating themselves on the chairs and   
platforms. Possibly the strangest part is that hey were all wearing   
hats with a horn on them. They slightly reminded Lina of Valgarv's   
horn. The cheering suddenly stopped and all the children turned to a   
set of big (and pink, and purple and childish looking) doors Lina   
hadn't noticed before. (The creepy part is how they all did it at the   
same time, not the mention the identical almost maniac-happy looks on   
their faces.)  
Lina and co warily looked toward the set of doors and awaited to   
see what horrors would come out of it. I figure it's a bit obvious to   
say that they were very much not expecting what came out.  
The doors burst open in a cacophony of sound and light and   
sparkles. Lina jumped and backed against Zelgadis. Out of the discord   
strode... a big purple rhinoceros?   
All of them just stared.  
There was a moment of silence the children erupted into delighted   
squeals and screams. Lina grabbed at her ears in agony. Beside her   
Zelgadis and Gourry were utterly blown away and still staring at the   
big purple rhino.  
"Ano...Lina..." Gourry said very, very quietly. "What is that?"  
Lina could do more than shake her head.  
"...It seems to be a giant purple dancing stuffed animal with a   
horn." Zelgadis said matter of factly sounding very unbelieving. Lina   
nodded mutely.  
The large purple animal stopped dancing and greeting the kids   
cheerfully. "Hey'ya kids! How are you today? I'm just--"  
"RHINOCERY!!!" All the children yelled excitedly.  
Lina eeped and jumped behind Gourry, peeking out from between the   
layers of his tutu. Gourry turned to find Lina shaking in terror so he   
instead asked Zelgadis his question. "Zelgadis, what does that mean?   
...Hey, why are you so pale?"  
Zelgadis, indeed looking a pale blue, just shook his head. "I   
have no idea."  
"I want to leave right now." Lina commented weakly from behind   
Gourry.  
  
~~~~~  
Gail: Well. I don't think I ought to comment on this... The next part   
is scarier. For those of you who fear small children and Barney-like   
characters I would stop at this point and never look back. 


	5. served chilled

Chaos Factor 9  
  
(Disclaimer: I don't own any Slayers characters, and the Rhino is a   
parody of Barney, I don't own him either. Really.)  
  
Part Five: ...Served Chilled...  
  
~~~~~  
The trio stared in abstract fear as the stuffed thingy lead the   
children in a very energetic dance.  
"Hey kids, do you know what today is!?" The stuffed entity   
yelled bouncily.  
"What day is it, Rhino Ralph?" The kids yelled back   
ecstatically.  
"FUNDAY!" Rhino Ralph screamed. The kids started screaming in   
laughter along with the big purple Rhino Ralph.  
Lina was clutching Gourry tightly. He was having a bit of   
trouble breathing. "Ano, Lina." He gasped. He turned to Zelgadis for   
help but found the chimera staring at the mass of cheering children   
worriedly.  
"And today for FUNDAY I have brought some special guests!" A   
spotlight (of course it's pink) turned on our adventuring trio. All of   
them had a very frightened deer-in-the-headlights look on their faces.   
"Why don't we give them a big happy Rhino Ralph welcome." The kids   
cheered and jumped to there feet. Lina was suddenly aware of the small   
hyperactive humans swarming toward them. Lina started to turn and run   
but for one her legs were practically jelly from fear, two the small   
demons had already swarmed around Gourry and where clamped around her   
legs. The started pulling at her cloak and hugging her legs, all of   
them smiling at her in maniac bliss. She wasn't sure when she started   
screaming, but she was slightly aware when Gourry had swung her up on   
his shoulders away from the demonic kids. That didn't sway many of   
them. She clamped her arms around Gourry's head and watched as a   
barely calm Zelgadis was detaching the children. Gourry just shook his   
legs one at a time and held onto Lina.  
Rhino Ralph held up his hands. "Hahaha! Aren't you having fun,   
boys and girls?" They cheered. Lina moaned quietly.  
"Gourry..." She whispered. "We need to get our of here now."   
Gourry tried to shake his head and agree but Lina was making that   
difficult.  
"Now, I have a game for all of you! The game is..." The rhino   
turned dramatically and pointed to Lina who eeped. "To capture the   
infamous villain, Lina Inverse." The children all nodded in unison.  
"h...hey, HEY!" Lina screamed, clutching Gourry's head.  
"Typical, absolutely typical. Sending out children to do your   
dirty work. Are you afraid to do it yourself." Zelgadis sneered.  
"Oh no, my fun will come later." The Rhino thing grinned   
leeringly. Lina got really pale. "Now, kids, on your mark, get set--"  
"Hey, wait!!!"  
"GO!!"  
The children swarmed. Gourry took off running with Lina on his   
shoulder; Zelgadis went right after him. The children caught up in   
seconds and latched onto their legs.  
Zelgadis was sure that the stuffed thing was controlling the   
children's minds somehow (he wasn't far off... it's scary how children   
react to some of those shows...). If he could get the rhino then the   
children might not attack anymore, but he was afraid he'd hit the   
children with his magic. He may be a heartless swordsman, but what   
kind of jerk attacked children?  
"Get her and take her to the clubhouse!" Rhino Ralph roared (ha,   
that sounds funny). The swordsmen could handle demons, thugs, and   
monsters, but they were no match for a swarm of hyperactive children.   
No telling how many of the kids had latched onto Gourry and brought him   
to the ground with a thud. He desperately tried to dislodge the kids   
off his person, Lina was also trying to help. Zelgadis was still on   
his feet, still struggling.   
When the fight wasn't going the way the kids liked it they   
started biting.  
"Ow!" Gourry yelled. "Oww! Ow! Hey, stop that!"  
"Hey! You little brat!" Lina rubbed her shoulder.  
A bunch of children started crying over in Zelgadis direction.   
They were quickly learning that biting wouldn't work on him.  
The kids on Gourry were biting, hair pulling and tickling. He   
was in a fit of pained laughing. Lina was shoving kids away with all   
her might, but soon they had swarmed over her and lifted her over their   
heads like little pygmies. Lina yelled and flailed to no avail. She   
even briefly entertained the notion of blasting them. Gourry and   
Zelgadis were too overwhelmed to do anything. Zelgadis a little less   
since the kids couldn't bite him, tickle him, or pull his hair.  
The kids suddenly retreated away from the swordsmen. Zelgadis   
realized that the stuffed thing wasn't there anymore.  
Gourry climbed to his feet. "Lina! Zelgadis, where did Lina   
go."  
"The kids took her to the 'club house'."  
"Where's the club house?" Gourry asked confused.  
"I don't know, why don't you ask the kids."  
The kids were standing there staring at the two men.  
"Where's your club house." Zelgadis demanded, crossing his arms.  
"Why are you dressed so funny?" One kid said point at Zelgadis.  
"Its rude to point, kid."  
The kid looked at his finger then stuck it in his mouth and   
sucked on it.  
"Um... Will you please tell us where they took our friend Lina.   
She's um, short... well, not as short as you, and built like a   
washboard and loud and had red hair and now she's wearing black 'cause   
that short dude changed her clothes. Er, he changed all our clothes,   
that's we we're dressed funny, so will you tell us where our friend is?   
Umm... please?"  
A little girl piped up. "We can't tell you. Rhino Ralph said   
not to."  
"Why not?" Gourry asked.  
"It's a secret." Half the children said. Gourry and Zelgadis   
gulped.  
"Boy, that sounded familiar." Zelgadis said dryly.  
"Your tutu is pretty." A little girl with pigtails said shyly.  
"Um...thanks." Gourry said confused.  
~~~~~  
After a bumpy and terrifying ride Lina was finally set down. The   
little kids formed a semi circle around her. She was miffed to find a   
wall behind her. No where to run. One of the little girls came up and   
started petting her hair. Lina was going to yell at her but the girl   
smiled and said: "You're a pretty lady."  
"Er... thank you." Lina said a little confused. The kids were   
calm and sociable. Ah, the Rhino think isn't here is it, she thought.   
"Um, why don't you tell me why you are all here, and what you are doing   
with the stuffed animal thing?"  
"Rhino Ralph is our hero."  
"He's the best person in the world."  
"We always have fun with Rhino Ralph."  
"And you get to stay here with us and have fun forever."  
The kids stared blankly at Lina, wide eyed and not smiling. Lina   
felt very, very outnumbered and very, very creeped out. "How did you   
get here?"  
"Rhino Ralph rescued us."  
"He loves us."  
"He makes us happy."  
"He made us what we are today."  
Made them what they are today? What the hell was that supposed   
to mean. "What do you mean by that?" All the children looked at the   
kid who had spoken angrily.  
"You have reveled a secret! You should have never done that, you   
have shamed Rhino Ralph and betrayed his trust!" The little kids   
started to hit the boy. He curled up and then faded away. Lina gasped   
and backed against the wall extremely creeped out.  
"Wha-what did you do to him?!"  
A little girl smiled cruelly. "We punished him. He deserved   
it." Lina nodded mutely, her eyes wide.  
"But you are our friend. We won't do it to you."  
"I'm your friend?" Lina said incredulously but instantly   
regretted saying that.  
One little girl stomped up. Lina gasped, she looked just like   
her.  
"YOU ARE OUR FRIEND! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE OUR FRIEND!" Lina   
jerked back and clutched impotently at the wall. This was soooo   
creepy. But the wall turned purple and squishy and clutched back.  
The 'wall' chuckled. "Here's a Rhino hug just for you, Lina   
Inverse." Lina noticed all the children were back to looking glazed   
and maniacally happy.   
Lina squealed and thrashed but the Rhino's hold held. "Let go of   
me you purple idiot." All the kids gasped.  
"What naughty words, Lina Inverse. We will have to wash your   
mouth out with soap.  
"Like hell!" Lina yelled, struggling.  
A high pitched familiar laughter bubbled from the crowd. "How do   
you like my game so far, Lina Inverse." The children parted as Kopii   
Chibi Rezo stepped out. Lina stopped struggling and glared daggers at   
Kopii.  
"Oh, just lovely. I especially like the part where you enslaved   
the little kids." Lina spat out sarcastically.  
"Little kids? Oh ho ho. See, even my illusions can fool the   
great Lina Inverse."  
"Illusions?" Lina said surprised, and very pissed. She looked   
at the kids. All of a sudden they looked more crude. Like painted   
wooden dolls, and they had... strings? "Puppets!?" She screamed   
outraged. Kopii laughed heartily.  
"Yes my dear, puppets." He walked up and poked his staff into   
Lina's face. "Now, I will destroy you."  
Lina growled. She was extremely angry; Kopii however didn't   
realize or was too stupid to care. Lina screamed and wrenched her arm   
from the rhino's grasp and slammed her fist into Kopii's face. He   
reeled backward surprised. Lina disengaged the rest of herself from   
the purple squishy thing and danced away. Once she was far enough away   
she planted a fireball right into Rhino Ralph's face. He burst into   
flame better than a clown soaked in ginger ale. She whirled on Kopii   
intent on pumping a dozen flare arrows into his fruity carcass but he   
had vanished. Fuming, Lina stomped back the way she had come.  
Ooo... He was so going to get it.  
  
~~~~~  
Gail: Yay! The dream of every sane person who has to sit through those   
kiddy shows continuously. I have to and my sibling is 13. You figure   
that out. But... How do our dashing swordsmen fare? Mwa ha. 


	6. second helpings

Chaos Factor 9  
  
(Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of it's characters.)  
  
Part 6: ...second helpings...  
  
~~~~~  
Gourry poked around the pink room. A couple of the little girls   
were following him around asking him to do ballet for them. Gourry   
tried to explain to them that he didn't know any ballet.  
"But you are wearing pointy dance shoes and wearing a tutu.   
Ballet dancing people wear those kinds of things." The red haired   
little girl pointed out.  
"And you have pretty ribbons all in your hair!" The blond one   
pointed giggling. Gourry had forgotten about those.  
Zelgadis stepped up. "If Gourry gives you some of his pretty   
ribbons will you show us the way to the club house?" The little girls   
looked at each other tempted.  
The red headed one shrugged. "I dunno..." She crossed her arms.   
"What do you think Peach?"  
"I think it will be lots of fun, Daisy!" The blond one smoothed   
the wrinkles out of her pink dress. "But first we'll show you   
something really cool, then we'll take you to the club house." She   
winked at Daisy who giggled.  
"Yeah!"  
"But we just want to go to the club house. We don't have much   
time, we have to find Lina." Gourry argued.  
Daisy crossed her arms in a huff. "If you don't come with us to   
the 'cool place' we won't take you to the club house, and that's   
final." Gourry sighed.  
"Very well, if you insist on playing such games we'll go, but it   
better be fast."  
The girls grinned at each other. For a couple of five year olds   
they were pretty devious. "It won't take long at all."  
  
~~~~~  
Lina stomped back to the room she had previously been in to find   
absolutely no Gourry or Zelgadis. She was not just mad, she was   
pissed. How dare they leave her all alone with a bunch of psycho   
children and a big purple pain in the ass! They were going to get it!   
Lina surveyed the empty room then finally decided to go through   
the door that Ralph thing had entered through. There was no one around   
but she wanted to make it sure she was unhappy by stomping angrily   
through the gaudy doorway. She stopped a few feet in the doorway where   
the light from the previous room ended. Nothing but a dark hallway in   
front of her. She started chanting a Lighting spell when the door   
behind her slammed shut and disappeared. Of course she was expecting   
it.  
She finished the chant and threw the glowing ball up above her   
head.  
"Ugh..." Lina critiqued about her new surroundings shading her   
eyes.  
  
~~~~~  
"The 'really cool thing' is right up ahead."  
"You'll love it!" The two little girls cheered leading Gourry   
and Zelgadis down a lighted hallway.  
Zelgadis frowned. Something like this always had to happen, why   
couldn't they just take them to Lina. Not that he was worried about   
her. She could take care of herself.  
Gourry on the other hand was worrying a lot. After the little   
girls talked about what 'they' did to bad boys and girls and how Rhino   
Ralph ruled with an iron hoof and also how he hated big people Gourry   
was quite perturbed. Lina was in trouble. It didn't help much that   
they kept asking him questions about ballet which he nothing about.   
After about ten minutes of walking (and inane chatter that was   
about to drive Zel up a wall) they arrived at the 'really cool thing'.   
And man... was it impressive.  
"Shiny..." Gourry commented as they stared at the giant ball of   
dental horror.  
"That's the biggest hunk of candy I've ever seen." Zelgadis said   
gazing upwards.  
"Yeah... ain't it great?" Peach commented.  
Daisy sighed. "But we can't reach it.  
Both of the girls stared at the boys giving them a look that   
greatly resembled Amelia's puppy dog 'I'm so cute and innocent don't   
you want to do something for me' looks.  
"You want us to get the candy down don't you?"  
"Well... since you offered." Peach said sweetly.  
"Of course!" The girls shrieked happily.  
Gourry covered his ears and groaned. "Ano... please don't do   
that."  
Zel sighed. "Fine. You better lead us to Lina immediately   
afterward." Why oh why didn't they just go looking for Lina   
themselves.  
Zelgadis Ray Winged up to the top of the candy ball and cut the   
straps (very hard licorice) with his sword. The ball fell with a thump   
and little candy shards fell everywhere. He landed next the little   
girls who were greedily munching up the candy.  
He picked up each girl by the back of their frilly dresses. "We   
are going. Now."  
"But, but, but!" The little girls said in unison, the little   
hands filled with candy shards.  
"You said you would." Gourry reminded them.  
The girls frowned. "Oh fine." Peach said crossing her arms.  
"It's this way." Daisy answered her nose up in the air.  
The men turned to head in that direction when they heard a   
crunching sound. The little girls turned too.  
The giant ball of candy was slowly unfolding into a multi-colored   
candy golem. It's rock candy muscles flexed and the eyes glowed an   
evil red.  
"What in the world is that?" Gourry asked surprised drawing his   
sword.  
"It seems to be a candy golem." Zelgadis answered calmly.   
"Little girls, there would seem to be a vital piece of information you   
forgot to tell us about this candy? Yes?"  
"Um... something about a curse that would happen to people that   
ate the candy."  
"But we don't care, we just wanted some candy."  
"Figures." Zel mumbled unhappily.  
The golem took a giant step towards them and brandished his rock   
candy fist angrily. "die...insignificant...mortals..."  
"I think running is a good idea. I don't think our swords will   
be much us on this." Zelgadis said tucking Daisy under his arm.   
Gourry sheathed his sword, picked up Peach, and pelted after Zelgadis.  
They ran away from the golem but it was persistent and   
unfortunately it was pretty fast for a rock candy creature. (But Zel   
pretty fast too and he's got a rock exterior so you really can't judge   
by that.)  
Gourry all of a sudden howled with pain. Zelgadis at the same   
moment was aware of small hard things bouncing of his skin with a very   
distinct sound.  
"Ouch! Ouch! What are these?" Gourry asked running even   
faster. Zelgadis saw the golem creature spitting small hard candy   
balls out of is mouth at the runners.  
"I think they're jawbreakers." Zel said incredulously. Gourry   
yelped as a few more hit him in the back of the head.  
"That's hurts..." He whined manly.  
The little girls however we're making a wild grab for the   
bouncing jawbreakers stuffing all that they could in mouth and pockets.  
"Yay! More, more!" They cheered happily.  
"WAHHHH!" Gourry screamed. The golem, it seemed, had switched   
to something a little more effective. Sharp shards of rock candy were   
sticking out of Gourry's tutu clad back-side. "Owwieeeee!" His eyes   
teared over. "I wanna find Lina and go! Zelgadis, can't you do some   
sort of magic thing and make it go away.  
Zel handed Gourry Daisy too. He stopped and whirled around. His   
hands spread apart as magic swirled between them. "Ly Briem!" A wave   
of frozen air shot from Zel's hand and enveloped half the golem. He   
then rushed toward the golem sword drawn. After ducking the golem's   
only working arm he swung his sword and shattered it's legs. The top   
half of the golem fell over and swung it's arm pointlessly. Zelgadis   
turned around and followed Gourry.  
A little later on they stopped and Gourry pulled the sharp   
candies out of his butt. "That was strange. I've never heard of   
deadly candy."  
Zelgadis nodded quietly.  
"But is sure tasted good, right Daisy?"  
"Right Peach. Can we have some more?" She asked Zelgadis   
hopefully.  
"No. We are going to find Lina now."  
  
~~~~~  
Gail: I like candy.  
But I've never had it try and kill me...  
But I still like it. 


	7. just desserts

Chaos Factor 9

(Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its characters.)

Part 7: ...just desserts...

Lina looked around the room full of mirrors after toning down her light spell. How utterly annoying. That midget madman really pulled out all the stops. It reminded her of a fun house her sister had taken her to as a kid. Her sister also 'forgot' and left her there for a few extra hours thus resulting in her slight fear of clowns, but that's beside the point.  
The mirrors curved and warped images. Lina as a child had been particularly interested in the one that made her grow taller.  
Now she was just interested in getting out of the fruity fun house that that chibi pain in the ass had stuck her in... and where the hell was Gourry and Zelgadis.  
Lina sighed and wondered the confusing halls of reflection pausing now and again to study one closer. She walked and walked and walked, getting hungrier by the minute. Soon. She better find a way out of here soon or this place would become little more than millions of tiny shiny shards.  
Lina turned a corner and walked down the isle strait into a dead in. Right in front of her was a wall and a huge mirror with and ornately carved rim. Yet another trick mirror but the trick was that there was no reflection at all, or rather.  
'hello...' A small voice floated from inside the mirror. Lina started but against her better judgement she leaned closer and looked into the mirror. It was barely visible but there was a faint shadow inside the mirror. As Lina came closer the shadow grew more definite. 'oh!' The mirror exclaimed, Lina jumped. 'I thought you were just my imagination.' Lina at this point thought of agreeing.  
"Wha... who are you?" She asked instead.  
'i'm the forgotten'  
Lina quirked an eyebrow. That didn't help much.  
'i've been stuck in this place for such a long time... please let me out.' The voice pleaded.  
Yeah right, Lina thought. "Why are you in the mirror in the first place"  
'... no reason'  
Humph, yeah right.  
'its just... someone put me here as a joke... please let me out'  
"A joke"  
'it's a very long story'  
"Summarize." Lina commanded, not convinced.  
'JUST LET ME OUT!' The mirror screamed. Lina shrieked and landed on her backside.  
The mirror started to laugh, or rather the rapidly appearing girl inside the mirror was laughing.  
"You should have seen the look on your face!" The now fully visible purple-haired girl said gleefully. "Man, this is a lot of fun"  
"Gaia?" A voice floated out from behind the girl. "What are you doing? Have you found a way out yet"  
"No. But I found a person." The girl identified as Gaia stated smiling.  
"Stop talking to your reflection and keep searching. I want to find a way out of this place you dumped us in. I can't believe you screwed up the spell." The voice said.  
"Can it and get up here!" The girl called over her shoulder.  
Lina was absolutely dumbfounded. "Oh, don't look so dumbfounded." The girl scolded happily then reached her arm through the mirror. "It's fake, just an illusion to hide the passageway." The girl stepped trough, the 'mirror' image wobbling as she did so. "Oi, Tara, this way"  
She held out an arm to help Lina up. Lina ignored it getting up on her own and watching the figure behind her become more defined and step out of the mirror.  
"Oh! It is a person. A person with a very bright aura... I wondered who you were yelling at." The girl squinted her eyes. "...Ow... You're kinda hard to look at"  
Lina blinked.  
"But it is a very nice crimson color, matches her eyes perfectly." The girl known as Gaia stated.  
Lina blinked again. Now they were talking about her eye color?  
The new girl had greenish blue hair in pigtail braids and held out her hand. "I am Tara Nepion, hailing from Nepthon, Neptune." Lina stared at the outstretched hand.  
"Ne, Tara, maybe they don't shake hands in this world, after all we both figure we're in a different world, and you could possibly be claiming war on her race of offering your hand in marriage or something." Gaia started grinning. "Anyway, I'm Gaia, just Gaia. Don't know the rest. I hail from hell, or some semblance of it anyway, otherwise known as Earth. Nice to make your acquaintance oh vocally enabled one." Gaia did not offer her hand to shake but indicated she'd like a name.  
Other world? Marriage? Neptune? What the hell? Lina swallowed that. "I'm Lina Inverse, sorceress genius extrodenair"  
"Sorceress?" Both girls asked each other.  
"I thought for sure she was a waitress or a fishmonger"  
"Nah, I had my money on her working in a pet shop"  
Lina promptly fell over. "NANI!" Both girls stared at her. "YOU, you thought I worked in a pet shop! With this outfit what else would I be"  
"A drunk party entertainer? Or a stripp..." Tara snapped a spell off her fingers that Lina didn't recognized and stopped Gaia mid word. There was a silent pause then Gaia started pointing at her throat angrily and moving her mouth but no sound would come out.  
"Truly, I don't know many sorcerers that wear that much black leather... except for that one..." Tara stated trailing off. Oh yeah... she had forgotten about that. Lina looked at her outfit and fumed.  
"Now, miss Inverse, please calm down and we can exchange some information"  
Ten or so minutes later after heading down more of the twisty passages and listening to Tara explain things all Lina wanted was to sit down and stare at her. Then she learned she could walk and stare at the same time and only bump into a minimum of things. Gaia, who still couldn't talk, just walked behind smiling and eerily reminding Lina of a certain other purple-haired individual.  
"So the long and short of it is Gaia screwed up a spell you were working on--" Gaia made a rude gesture at Tara which she ignored. -  
and now you are stuck in this world and this fun house too and you have to find a place far away from where you exited the spell to cast it properly again"  
"Yep"  
"Oh. Not that complicated. Now let me explain a few things to you." Lina commented then told about their predicament leaving out a few choice bits and anything Tara or Gaia could use against her in case there were one of Chibi Rezo's goons. "Understand"  
Tara nodded. Gaia... smiled. Lina'd have to watch that one.

A bit later the girls (except for Gaia, who couldn't talk) had finally just blasted a path through the mirrors following a 'feeling' from Lina. Eventually they came to a door.  
Lina tried the door handle and found it locked, she stood back to fireball it open but Gaia stepped up and kicked the door open with a wicked grin. Lina didn't see what was with the wicked grin was for until she was propelled into the room with a start.  
Nothing was actually in the room but Lina whirled angrily on Gaia and threatened dire things she usually reserved for Xelloss. The girl looked oddly pleased. Oh yeah, a lot like Xelloss, Lina thought ill.  
The empty room was a room that looked exactly like an ordinary room and there was nothing out of order in the roomy interior. Then the door slammed shut and disappeared and it was an empty room that was a room that looked exactly like an ordinary room except it had no door. "Yay." Lina intoned.  
Gaia looked around then pointed to a shadowy corner. Lina looked, there was nothing. She stared at Gaia. Gaia then pointed lower. Ah, there was a little door set in the wall.  
"You expect me to get through there?" Lina said incredulous.  
Gaia nodded enthusiastically and smiled.  
"Yeah right"  
"I believe what our short of words friend here-" Gaia kicked her, Tara retaliated by grabbing her ponytail and pulling "is trying to say is that that is probably a way out but she's just trying to--" Gaia bit, Tara kicked "-antagonize you. She only does it to people she likes if that's any consolation"  
"Not really," Lina huffed.

"Have we found Lina yet?" Gourry whined again for the twenty somethingth time.  
Zelgadis chose not to answer.  
"Where's this club house anyway little girls?" Gourry tried again as they came up to another branch in the hallway. "Ummm... this way"  
"No, Peach, this way"  
"But you said it was this way earlier"  
"We shouldn't have turned when we came to that hallway"  
"But you told me to turn, Daisy"  
"You got us lost," Zelgadis stated angrily.  
"No!" Both girls yelled while nodding there heads yes.  
"Well we didn't mean to," Peach said contritely. "I've never been to the club house from this way, its forbidden territory"  
"Yeah, so stop yelling at us!" Daisy pouted.  
"Who's yelling at you?" Gourry asked looking around.  
"You are"  
Gourry looked confused. "I am"  
Zelgadis sighed. "Well, anyway, lets go this way," he indicated the right. "We don't really have anything else to go off of but out own instincts"  
The girls glared. Sharp of them to pick up an almost subtle insult, Zel thought. Possibly they were trying to get them lost on purpose... no scratch that. They were probably trying to get them lost so that Chibi pain in the ass could finish off Lina. Well they'd find Lina first and that was a fact.  
Zelgadis turned left and traveled cautiously with his light spell floating in front. "Let's see where it leads".

"Orhalicon... Great." Lina sarcasmed as she examined the wall. They were now stuck. The room had crushed orhalicon dust all in the room emitting dull sparkles in Lina's spell light. It absorbed any type of magic cast on it. "We're stuck!" She whined.  
Gaia smiled and pointed to the little door. Lina growled. Gaia backed up and hid behind Tara.  
Tara pulled her out in front again. "Gaia, if you are to be blasted for your glibness I want no part of it"  
Gaia gave Tara a look Lina didn't understand but Tara obviously did.  
Lina sighed. "Alright, fine! Gaia, if you know a way out of here tell us and I won't blast you"  
Gaia smiled and pointed to her throat.  
"Then act it out," Lina growled.  
Gaia proceeded to hide behind Tara again but nodded her head yes.  
Lina sighed again... This was going to be a long night... and she was hungry!

Gail:...oh boy... lock in a room with a hungry Lina. A fate worse than death. And what of our dashing swordsmen? You didn't see much of them this episode. Oh don't worry. They're still there... Or are they? Bwa ha haaaa! 


	8. a bit of cheese

Chaos Factor 9

(Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its characters.)

Part 8: ...a bit of cheese on the side...

Gourry followed Zelgadis down the dark hallway. He was followed by the two little girls in frilly dresses... and boy, they whined more than Lina. Not that he'd ever tell her that to her face.  
Zelgadis stood under his spell light and examined the new split in the passageway. There were three now.  
"Which way do we go?" Gourry asked looking around warily. So far he had figured they had been in the fun house for hours and it was probably night. They had missed two meals and Lina would be absolutely murderous right now. Gourry was kinda glad she wasn't around so she wouldn't chew on him, but not really. He was worried about Lina ever since that short person said he was going to kill her. The short person look familiar and Zel explained why. Gourry kinda understood. There was a guy named Rezo that tried to kill them twice. Once he died then he tried to kill them again as another person. Gourry was still trying to figure that out.  
Zel was annoyed and he rubbed his temples. There was a grating noise. "I don't know, and it doesn't really matter, just pick a way Gourry"  
"Who me?" Gourry asked surprised.  
Zel glanced at him eyes narrowed.  
"Umm... okay. Let's go this way!" He pointed to the middle passage. "Wait... that way! No"  
Zelgadis stared at him. The stupidity of the situation struck him a while ago right before Lina disappeared, but here it presented itself again and he reflected. They were lost because they had followed two little girls that wanted nothing by candy. They had fought demon sweets and proceed down a dark passage, a hour or so later Gourry was standing in his ridiculous outfit. Rent tights, tutu, and all, trying to figure out which way to go.  
"I'm going mad." He mumbled under his breath. No one heard him.  
"Wait... What's that noise"  
Zel lifted his head and listened. "Water... No, voices"  
"Lina!" Gourry exclaimed rushing forward.  
"Wait Gourry, it's a trick of the echo... she might not be that way." Zel listened at the entrance to each way. "It could be any of them," he stated sullenly.  
The little girls just stood behind them and sulked.

Terrified shaking. Gaia was trapped in a corner with no place to go and a hungry sorceress eyeing her for the kill. Even Tara was staying as far away as she could.  
Truth be told Gaia would probably be saying something very stupid and enraging the sorceress. Sometimes she just couldn't help it, it was best she couldn't talk.  
"I'm hungry. Tired. Being tormented by a red clad midget. Lost. And you smile too, too much." All this was a feral growl with flaming eyes and clenched fists. Lina advanced. Gaia cowered smiling nervously.  
"D...do you want some food Lina?" Tara stated from the other side of the room.  
"You have food?" Lina growled slowly turning around.  
"NO!" Tara was quick to deny. "Gaia does"  
Lina whirled and lunged. "GIVE IT TO ME"  
If Gaia could have screamed she would have.

Contented munching.  
Tara had managed to pry Lina off Gaia long enough for her to empty all the food out of her bag (a specially made reality bubble made to fit in her bag. A very large pocket as it was.  
That consisted of a few wrapped mayo and ham sandwiches, a few cream sodas, lots of chocolate, battered fruits, jelly beans, cookies, cheesie poofs, and something Tara called pixi stix (which Lina didn't dare touch after Gaia had a few to 'calm' her nerves.  
All but the candy sticks were consumed in a flurry of ravaged hunger. After Lina was sated she was in a much better mood. (Tara and Gaia were exceptionally glad about that)  
Gaia continued her pointless pantomime, skipping the part that ticked Lina off so bad. After about a half-hour of this Lina was getting angry again.  
"This is stupid, I don't understand any of this!" Lina fumed setting in the floor.  
"You know Lina, you could have just asked me to take the spell off of her." Tara idly commented from across the room.  
Lina turned and gave Tara an evil look of death that promised many painful things in her future.  
"You mean I've been sitting her forever trying to figure her out and you've had the solution the whole time"  
"Well you said you wanted her to act it out and I didn't want to interfere." Tara said innocently. Gaia laughed silently.  
"Well then, why don't you take the spell off her now." Lina commanded through clenched teeth. These two were annoying the hell out of her.  
Tara snapped her fingers. Gaia's laughter wasn't silent anymore. She was practically rolling in the floor.  
Lina would not go for this.  
A few seconds later Gaia was clutching her head still laughing a bit. Lina tossed her mallet back into hammer space.  
"Now Gaia," Lina's voice rivaled the chilly air. "How to you presume we get out of here. Are you so special you can blast open a pure orhalicon door"  
"No." Gaia said smiling cheerfully again. "But I can pick the lock. It's a normal lock. You just don't need magic to do everything you know"  
"What has that got to do with any of your charades earlier"  
"Um nothing. I was just having a bit of fun"  
Wham! The mallet made its reappearance.  
"Oww... you are so mean Lina-san..."

Gourry followed the little girls who followed Zelgadis. The path was dark and boring and there were weird sounds. Suddenly Gourry found there was no more path. No, contrary to what you're thinking, it wasn't a wall. It was an open door... in the floor.  
"Kyaaaaa!" Gourry yelled as he plummeted downward. He looked up as he was falling to see the floor crumble until the two little girls and Zelgadis were joining him in his downward tumble.  
Suddenly his tush came in contact with a hard surface he bounced then landed again but continued to move downward at a frightening pace. Gourry's brain threatened to go on strike when he tried to apply logic so he stopped and just went with it.  
Zelgadis bumped up behind him, the two little girls clinging to his back.  
The slid downward at an extremely fast pace. Zel didn't like this. He tried to wedge his feet into the sides of the slide but there wasn't enough traction. Suddenly the slide started going around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around until Zel was getting very sick. Gourry was a bit green too.  
The ride of horrors dipped and whirled and swirled and turned violently brutally slinging its riders around. Just when Zel had had enough the slide ended and the four tumble across the floor with painful velocity.  
"Oww." Gourry commented from his crumpled position. "I don't like this anymore"  
Sarcastic clapping for the darkness. Gourry sat up suddenly. Zel got up and grabbed his sword.  
Kopii Chibi Rezo stepped out. "Bravo! Bravo! You have succeeded well in getting totally lost in my trap! I'm so pleased." Gourry stood and drew his sword.  
"Where's Lina." He said dangerously.  
"Lina? Oh ho ho. Trapped. She'll remain that way until I finish her off. Now, it's your turn. It's only fitting you go first of course"  
The little girls ran up to Chibi Rezo. "Rezo-sama! They're mean and they yell at us!" Peach said huffily.  
"Can we help you destroy the invaders"  
Kopii laughed. "But of course you can my little dears"  
Peach and Daisy pulled out tennis rackets. "Let's go!"

Gaia was busy digging away at the lock as Lina and Tara watched.  
"You're getting better Gaia." Tara commented as they heard another click.  
Gaia nodded.  
"Where'd you learn how?" Lina asked idly.  
"During the Paradox Wars." Tara answered for her. "Only a few people were involved, but it probably best described as a war. But it's over now and Para-kun starts a nervous tick when he hears Gaia, Renee or my name and climbs walls and furniture to get away from us when he sees us"  
"I love playing with his mind." Gaia stated still digging at the lock. Click.  
"Open!" Gaia said happily.  
"Now we have to figure out how to get through this tiny door." Lina stated sourly.  
Gaia pushed the door open that the whole wall swung away.  
"Oh." Lina commented.

Try it shorty." Zelgadis said angrily.  
The little girls stepped in front of Rezo. Suddenly they weren't little anymore and they had glowing tennis rackets.  
Zel shifted his sword grip. He knew it. Spies of Rezo.  
"Hey, who are they?" Gourry said confused. "There used to be two little girls in poofy dresses"  
"They are the little girls." Zel answered.  
"No they aren't. They're much bigger and wearing less clothes." Gourry countered, his eyes still on Rezo. "Less chatting, more slaughter. Girls." Kopii waved them forward. "Have some fun."

Gail: Uh oh... what shall the two boys do? Will Rezo win with his two puppets? Where does that mysterious door in the wall lead? All these answers and more questions on the next episode! 


	9. silverware battle

Chaos Factor 9

(Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its characters.)

Part 9: ...silverware battle...

~~~~~ "We're back at the beginning!" Lina stated incredulously.  
"Ugh, pink." Gaia stated stepping into the room.  
"No kidding." Tara commented. "Lina, where are your two friends?"  
The door disappeared as Lina stepped out. "Well, not here."  
Gaia made a strange sound after looking around the corner. She backed away worriedly.  
"There are a whoooooole lot of l'il kids out there all staring at a big ugly door."  
"Oh no..." Lina moaned. "Rezo puppets again."  
"Yep, puppets, none of them had auras."  
"Why are they watching the door? Waiting for a leader perhaps."  
"Yeah a big purple stuffed animal that dances and sings."  
Tara and Gaia looked at her. "Barney?" They asked each other.  
"No... Rhino Ralph or something." Lina answered.  
Weird looks.  
"No, really." Lina sighed. "He had the kids kidnap me and take me to the club house where Rezo was going to kill me."  
Snigger.  
"Shut up, I didn't know they were puppets at the time."  
Gaia giggled softly.  
"Okay, since Lina's so scared I'll distract the kids and you can check out the door over in the shadows." Gaia said cracking her knuckles.  
"What door." Lina queried. Gaia pointed. "There wasn't one there before."  
"Well there's on over there now--" Gaia clutched her ears as a roar of screaming swept around the corner.  
"Hey kids!" A voice drifted around the corner.  
Lina paled. "It's back again!" She moaned quietly then switched moods completely.  
"Okay Gaia since you volunteered you go out there and distract them I'll check the door, Tara you come with me. Let's go."  
"No, wait. I want to change my vote." Gaia said meekly.  
Then it was her turn to be propelled into non-certain doom. "Oh hell..." She stated quietly.  
"Look kid's! It's a new friend to play with!" The indeed purple Rhino said bouncing. Glazed maniacally happy looks. Smiles and smiles and grins and happy, happy emotions. Gaia was going to be sick.  
Lina and Tara slipped around in the shadows staying out of the light until they reached the door. Lina watched as Gaia froze in fear as the children swept around her.  
Tara rattled the knob but then whirled around with a start as Gaia screamed.  
"HELP MEEEEE!!!!!" Gaia screamed/gasped trying to wade through the sea of kids and get the hell away.  
"Too..gasp...happy!" Gaia panted as the kids brought her to her knees. "I'm going to dieeeeEEEEEE." Then Gaia disappeared under the swarm of children.  
"Now that I reflect that was probably a very bad idea." Tara said momentarily forgetting the door.  
Lina was charging up a fireball when a well of pure dark power seeped up from where Gaia had previously been. It streamed outward from a center point and sucked the magic of the puppets in leaving just lifeless wooden shells, but that wasn't the worst. The walls and floors, anything remotely solid started to flicker and wave like a candle flame.  
"Gaia stop!" Tara yelled rushing forward. Lina thought that was a stupid idea. "This area is too unstable to use magic like that."  
The well of dark energy faded away and in the center Gaia sat twitching a bit and glancing around erratically. "Gah... Now that I reflect, that was probably a very bad idea."  
Tara ignored her. "There's more people now!" The three girls looked over and Lina gasped.

~~~~~ Zelgadis faced the Rezo and the girls scowling. "Fight me man to man you blind midget."  
Rezo raised and eyebrow. "Do you think I'd do something as stupid as that when I have others to do it for me?"  
Zel rush forward sword raised. Peach stepped up and blocked it with her racket, she shoved him back but he didn't move he returned the shove. Peach stumbled backwards and Daisy rushed forward. Zelgadis easily deflected her racket. This wasn't much of a challenge. He frowned, it was probably a fa ade to hide something else.  
Peach and Daisy backed up and pulled out a couple of tennis balls out of no where. Zelgadis raised his sword in defense.  
"Serve!" Daisy called out throwing a tennis ball at Peach.  
Peach swung her racket. "Toadstool Smash!!!" She screamed launching the ball at Zelgadis. He maneuvered his sword to deflect it but it exploded on contact.  
"Zel?" Gourry yelled after the explosion.  
"I'm fine! Just avoid the balls!" Zel called out rushing to the side.  
The girls launched ball after ball of exploding power. Each of them screamed some stupid words before hand. Zel finally got tired of avoiding and snuck up behind Kopii while he was laughing at the whole spectacle of Gourry running every which way to avoid being blown up.  
Zel raised his sword hilt to knock Kopii out but the world flickered and warped and he fell through darkness, falling, falling. Wham! All this happened in a split second but disoriented him greatly. The others weren't faring as good either.  
"Guys!"  
Was that... Lina?

~~~~~ Tara blinked.  
Gaia blinked.  
"Guys!" Lina yelled happily.  
Tara stepped up beside her. "Who is that vision of absolute male beauty?"  
Unbidden a pang of jealousy shot up Lina spine.  
"Eww...it looks like there's mold growing on his face." Gaia said following her gaze.  
Oh, it was just Zelgadis. The jealousy went away.  
Zel obviously heard her and gave Gaia a very nasty look then he jumped up.  
"Lina, get away from her! She's a Mazoku!"  
Lina turned and look at her companions. Gaia. She had slitted, slightly luminous purple eyes. Like a Mazoku's. I must have been too hungry to notice it before, Lina thought to herself while hurrying over to wake Gourry up.  
"Mazoku?" Gaia and Tara said repeating the odd word. They each shrugged.  
Zel stood up and pointed his sword at them. "Rezo's spies." He spat acidly.  
"Rezo?"  
"Yeah," Tara said pointing. "The guy Lina told us about, I think that's him over there."  
Gaia looked uninterested so she turned back to Zelgadis.  
"What's wrong with your face?"  
"Gaia." Tara said frowning.  
"Well... it's a legitimate question. Don't tell me you weren't wondering yourself. ...Or course you did call him a vision of absolute male loveliness or something."  
This threw Zel.  
"Of course," Gaia continued. "I can't say much for your odd choice of men... Ow, Tara, that's rather painful, please stop."  
Tara satisfied let go of Gaia's ears.  
"Now Mr..."  
"Zelgadis."  
"Zelgadis-san, what is a Mazoku?"  
"Your friend."  
"Ah." Tara said frowning.  
"Oh, you mean demon? Dark monster? Hellish beings of absolute hate? Citizen of Saturn? I'm all that and more baby!"  
"Something like that." He answered adjusting the grip on his sword.

~~~~~ Gourry woke up to find an angel leaning over him. No wait, it was just Lina.  
"Wake up Gourry, we've got to get out of here." Lina said trying to haul his large mass to its feet.  
"Tara told me if we can kill Rezo this area will fade back into the real world."  
"Huh?" He said dazedly.  
"Just get up!" Lina barked hauling Gourry up.  
"Who is Zel pointing sword at?" He said gazing over.  
"Tara and Gaia. Ah, they're getting up!"  
The two girls and Rezo were rapidly appearing. Lina's cry drew Zel over, but he was still facing the Tara and Gaia.  
"So all we have to do is take out Rezo." Zel said. "Oh, that's going to be real easy. Lina, watch out for the girls they shoot exploding balls."  
All the girls looked at him funny.  
"No really, with there rackets."  
"Yeah Lina, and they really hurt." Gourry commented from behind her. He already had his sword of light out and activated it.  
"Ooo... Pretty..." Gaia and Tara commented.  
Rezo and his cohorts finally completely appeared.  
"You nasty witch!" Rezo ranted angrily, "how dare you take your friends away from me! And who the hell are they!" He spat at Tara and Gaia who were ignoring him.  
"Which witch are they talking about. I say we kill him."  
"Gaia, we shouldn't interfere with the workings of this world, it makes gods mad and such." Tara shrugged.  
"How about the minions. Minions are never very important in the big scheme of things."  
"Hmm... Okay!"  
"Rezo-san! You can have them but we challenge your minions (since they are not very important anyway and wont effect the balance to much) to a fight to the death!" Gaia posed dramatically.  
"I suppose that works..." Lina agreed, turning with Zel and Gourry to face Chibi Rezo.  
"Huh?" Kopii asked.  
"Chop chop, let the ass kicking begin!"  
"Fine by me!" Kopii growled charging up magical power. "Let us begin!"

~~~~~ Gail: Ah, finally it's drawing to a close and the thing I intended as a three parter will end in it's silliness, but for how long? Nah. Lots of ass-kicking next episode... not to mention a pixi stix pick me up! 


	10. final course

Chaos Factor 9

(Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its characters.)

Part 10: ...final course.

~~~~~ Lina drew her sword and stood with Zel and Gourry. The other people had run off somewhere, but they weren t that important.  
I ve been waiting a long time, Lina Inverse! Today is the day I surpass my counter part Rezos! Haahahahhahahahahhahahhaaaaaaa! Lina stalked up while Chibi Rezo was laughing and whapped him in the side of the head. Listen, it s been done before! I kicked his ass! I kicked both of their asses in fact! What makes you so special other than the fact that you re short? Rezo, surprised, jumped in the air with a hastily activated levitation spell. Silly girl! If I defeat you I will rule the world! Be herald as a hero! Hero? Gourry said confused, but you re the bad guy! No, silly man, I will be the slayer of the enemy of all who live, Lina Inverse! Lina growled, the only one slaying anything here will be me. Get down here you fruit! Lina commanded angrily. Instead of waiting for him to comply she launched into the air, Zel was close to follow. Hey Lina! Gourry said still on the ground. He waved to get their attention but they had already started a magical dog fight. Gourry looked kind of unsure then sought safety from the stray blasts that were going everywhere. He crouched behind a pink platform occasionally deflecting stray blasts. The three up there were really going at it, but he noticed Lina and Zel were dodging as much as they were attacking despite there being two of them. Lina was twirling around a fireball at ready when a blast of Rezo nicked her flight spell and sent her spinning downward. Gourry jumped up and rushed over but Lina had already gotten up.  
Lina! He exclaimed quite harried. Are you hurt? No, but that pain in the ass is faster than he looks. Lina said watching Zel s precise flight pattern as he dogged Kopii, quick shots then he was off to another location just as quickly.  
But Lina, you re short and your faster and more powerful than you look...ow ow ow... Lina let go of his ears.  
I haven t got time for your insults, I better help Zel. A shot flashed by the chimera missing him by a hair.  
Wait Lina! What can I do? Gourry asked raising his sword.  
I don t know! Just do something that looks like it could help even a little bit. Okay? But Lina was off, back in the air to join the fight. Funny, Gourry thought, she hasn t used the dragon slave yet.  
He went back the active sport of watching the fight and deflecting blows. Suddenly he got and idea (rare, yes) and started aiming the blows at Rezo. Rezo was too busy watching Lina and Zel, but mostly Lina, to notice. That is until one of his own stray blows smashed him in the face. His flight spell went askew and though he never fell he slammed into the wall a few times giving Zel a good opportunity to slam a fireball into his fruity carcass.  
It was cheap shot after cheap shot one side never holding for long. Not to mention repetitive. It Gourry wasn t so worried about Lina... and Zel he might have gotten bored with it.

~~~~~ The Proud never waver in their cause, the beautiful never beg, and the brave never show weakness.  
Peach and Daisy were begging for there lives. ...Or they would have been if they could talk.  
After a short and nasty battle where they were thrown against a wall and promptly sat on by the two weak little pansy girls that could never match the power or beauty or sex appeal that they could they just wanted to get out of there. Forget Rezo.  
There were held together by a sticky ribbon of silver. The purple haired girl had many roles of it illogically stuffed in her bad. It was horrible. Then the same girl cast a spell so they couldn t talk and started tying there hair together in tiny knots. Gaia that s mean. Tara commented from the other side of the room.  
Gaia shrugged enjoying here miniature torture session. Fight slacked off yet? Nope... still going. Sides are about equal, but there using seemingly cheap magic. Seemingly? Well, it s weak compared to what Lina can dish out with her given aura. Rezo is mainly good at illusion magic and he s not tapping that. What about your vision of absolute male beauty? I never said that Gaia, what would Garr think? I was merely referring to his aura color. Suuuuure. Gaia said returning to her knotting.  
Tara turned back to observe the fight through her astral vision. Soon Lina would pull out a big gun, she could feel it. Hopefully the unstable dimension wouldn t collapse around them.

~~~~~ Chant, cast, dodge, repeat. Lina zoomed around just pulling out cheap, weak magic to keep Rezo busy. Rezo couldn t take the fight to the ground where Lina could tap into big magic. The flight spell took most of Lina concentration. The other spells served the same purpose as Rezo s; to keep him from casting big magic.  
She signaled to Zel to keep the cheap shots going. He nodded and moved closer drawing more of Rezo s attention.  
Lina shot toward the ground. Gourry hurried up to meet her. Lina! Gourry, help Zel distract him. I m going to cast the Dragon Slave.  
Gourry nodded once and hurried away deflecting spells back at Rezo. Funny how Lina had gotten used to seeing him in a tutu.  
Lina hid slightly away from Rezo. Amazingly he was angry enough he hadn t noticed her departure yet.  
Darkness Beyond Twilight,  
Crimson Beyond Blood That Flows,  
Buried In The Flow Of Time.  
In Your Great Name I Pledge Myself To Darkness;  
Let Those Who Oppose Us Be Destroyed By The Power You And I Possess.  
Ah, Rezo noticed her. Move guys! She screamed, a red ball of absolute doom swirling in her hands. Rezo added power to his flight spell s shield. Useless.  
DRAGU SLAVE!!!

~~~~~~ Brace yourself Gaia. Tara said simply watching the waves of power play inside her mind.  
No need, Tara my friend... Gaia said busy tying a large hunk of red hair to a small hunk of blond hair.  
There was a huge explosion and the world faded to black.  
I wanna learn that spell. Tara and Gaia said staring into the nothingness.

~~~~~ Lina was floating in a void.  
Lina was not enjoying it.  
No sound... Nothing.  
Gourry! Zelgadis! She screamed but her voice didn t even reach her own ears.  
Lina winced as a sudden burst of light made itself know to her eyes. There was a suction of air and noise and more light. Lina found herself in the same spot she had been when the trap door had opened. She even had her original clothes back.  
Gourry groaned and sat up. Lina? Lina! He said happily.  
Zel, Gourry? We re back! Lina said hopping up.  
What are you doing back. Zel growled as he looked at the two other people.  
I thought you were Rezo s puppets like the rest of them. Blank stares. They both mumbled something. Sounded like sushi, or so leaky or something strange like that.  
I m not going to explain anything again. Tara mumbled.  
Wait, Lina clued into something. I thought you said the dimension would collapse if you used strong magic. Zelgadis look surprised.  
We did? The girls both said grinning.  
Yes. Lina said suspiciously.  
Oh. I suppose we did. Tara said cocking her head to the side. But, actually, there was a very small chance of that happening. It would usually just disrupt the spell and merge with the real world. What. Lina demanded dangerously. You mean I could have done that anytime to get out of there. Uh-huh. Identical tones of voice. Identical nods. Identical smiles.  
But that wouldn t have been any fun. Gaia mocked.  
Lina, hungry and enraged lunged.  
I believe we should exit stage left before we are lynched. Gaia said while casting a spell, Tara was doing the same. A magical circle appeared at their feet and they disappeared.  
They left! Lina said skidding to a halt. Damn them. So they weren t Kopii s puppets. Zelgadis said stepping up. They would have been destroyed with him. Haunting laughter.  
Who said I was destroyed! Mocking laughter. Mwu hahahahahahahahaHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! The castle faded along with the laughing voice leaving only three adventurers on an empty cliff.  
Until next time Lina Inverse!

THE END (Of this part)

~~~~~ Gail: Its over! Hah! 


End file.
